Ramblings

There are 171 posts filed in Ramblings (this is page 9 of 18).

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Yuppified

That’s my new little expression to describe various places and people who are becoming hip to technology and general trendiness. Of late, my term describes me to the hilt. I’m at the airport right now, writing this on my laptop at Starbucks where I tried to connect to the internet using their WiFi. Unfortunately, their WiFi ain’t workin’, so I hooked my cell phone up to my laptop and I’m using that as a modem. Meanwhile, I’m suckin’ down my Caramel Frappucino (decaf) and IMing some friends.

Once I get on the plane, I’ll bust out my headphones and a DVD to kill a couple hours. All this to avoid human interaction and general boredom. Really, I like interacting with people, but I have to be distracted or I’ll count each minute of my flight. I don’t mind flying, but it’s not particularly comfortable for me, so I try to be as busy as possible while I’m on the plane.

Anyway, we’re about to start boarding, so I need to split… just as soon as I finish my Caramel Frap.

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Laptop

I finally got one. Dell was having a big fat sale today, so I took advantage. It’ll be a couple weeks before I have it, but I’ve been waiting to buy one for about 3 years, so what’s a couple more weeks? Anyway, it’ll be good for traveling, playin’ poker on the couch, yuppy-ing it up at Starbucks and ‘going wireless’.

Busy time comin’ in November

Things I could/will be doing in November:

  • Going to Cali again–strictly business this time
  • Going to Florida for Thanksgiving
  • Taking the Meisner short course
  • Auditioning for Noon Preview (a local showcase by a group called S.T.A.G.E.)
  • Hopefully performing at Noon Preview
  • Shopping for an agent

I guess it doesn’t look like much ‘on paper’, but I’m gonna’ be busy next month. I’m pretty excited about it because I haven’t been doing much since my coach split for L.A. I’ve enjoyed my time off, but I’m ready to get back to progress.

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Being self aware

I few weeks ago, I wrote about how I’ve been experiencing a time of self-realization. I guess that time started in January when I moved to Texas, but it’s hard to say. Mostly, I think this is attributable to my living situation. Since I’ve been living alone, I’ve had nothing but time on my hands and I’ve found that I spend a lot of that time thinking. Sometimes I think out loud, sometimes I write things down, sometimes I just sit and think.

But most of that thought has been me finding out more about myself. I’ve spent a lot of my time working through things I’ve believed for a long time. Really, I’ve taken time to scrutinize those beliefs, so I understand them better and I’m more confident in what I believe and who I am.

I guess part of this process culminated on Friday when I went to see Garden State again. It sounds silly, but going to see a movie alone was a big deal for me, and I think it was a pretty big step that I needed to take toward being a confident actor. Really, going to see a movie had nothing to do with that so much as the fact that I did something that has been so far out of my comfort zone for so long.

I’ve also been intent on continually learning. Mostly, I’ve been studying acting, but I’ve also been studying cinema and poker and reading books by Christian authors. Earlier, I was talking to a friend and she mentioned that she’s been learning a lot lately. It hit me that if I’m not learning something, I feel like I’m just sort of wasting away, standing still. Turns out that, lately, the biggest thing I’ve been learning about is me.

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Old egos die hard

For a long time, I’ve had this thing about not going to movies alone. A few weeks ago, I started thinking about that and asking myself why I had such a problem with that. Well, I discovered it was basically an ego thing: I was too cool to go to a movie by myself because that was lame and that’s what lamos do.

Obviously, this line of thinking is totally ridiculous and smacks of insecurity. I realized I had invented a stigma associated with lone movie-goers. Not only was that silly, but the irony is that it seems a person needs to be more secure in himself to go to a movie alone. So, tonight I went to see Garden State again.

It’s still a good movie and I was really impressed by Natalie Portman this time around. Her character just seems so genuine, it’s impossible not to believe her.

The bizarre world of choosing headshots

My proofs have been online since Monday night and I’ve been agonizing over finding the perfect shots ever since. I think I’ve got it down to three, but I just can’t seem to commit. Fortunately, my acting coach has given me a lot of input as to what is good for the Dallas market.

The funny thing about headshots is that ‘civilians’, as my coach calls them, usually don’t pick shots that are actually good for use as headshots and they all pick differently from each other. I got input from several of my friends and only 1 of about 6 chose even a single headshot that my coach recommended.

Job hunting in SoCal

I’ve submitted my resume to a company in Southern California. I guess I’m starting to make strides toward eventually moving out there. I’m a little nervous, but I’m also excited about being closer to where I want to be. I don’t know how promising this opportunity is, but I’ve been told a few times that there are jobs available for people with “my background”, so I’ll just have to wait and see.

I’m in kind of a tough spot because my lease is up here in February, but I have to sign a new one by December. I would like to be in L.A. mid-year next year, so that means either going month-to-month or signing another year-long lease. Either way I’m gambling, and I don’t like that.

Workin’ the website again

I’ve asked my buddy to consider building up my website, so I can start using it to ‘advertise’. I’m thinking I’ll probably break it into three sections: weblog, engineering and acting. That way, everything will be central, but distinctly separate. I’ll use it as a place to post my resumes, headshots and thoughts. Seems like good use of a webpage.

Of course, this all depends on my web-designer buddy, who’s a big fat slacker. I’m trying to guilt him into doing it.

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List of stuff for my new place

When I first moved here, I kept lists of things I needed. At one point, I said I’d post the lists for future reference and, I guess, in case anyone else could benefit from them. Well, I’m finally posting a list:

Silverware holder
Hand towels/wash cloths
Bath mat
Kitchen in a box
Paper towel dispenser
Drinking glasses
Computer desk
Living room furniture
Dining room furniture
Entertainment center
Stamps
Envelopes
DSL
Honey
Salt ‘n Pepper
Butter
TiVo/DVD player
Wireless USB Adapter
Audio/Video Cables
Aluminum Foil
Cling Wrap
Air Fresheners
Measuring Cup
Knife Set
Can Opener
Dish Soap, Sponges
Toaster Oven
Sugar
Flour
Surge Protector
Vacuum Cleaner
Resolve Carpet Cleaner
Endust, dusting cloth
Coasters
Napkin Holder
Color Ink Cartridge
Black Ink Cartridge
Dish Drainer
Wall Clock
Lamps/Shades
3-Phase Lightbulbs
Windex
Ironing board
Iron
Hammer/Nails
Wireless Router
Placemats
Shower Curtain
Spray Starch
Brown Sugar
Office Trashcan
Chair Mat
Plunger
Post-its
Batteries
Door Mat
Handsoap
Broom
Mop
Dish Detergent
Laundry Detergent
Dryer Sheets
Box Cutter
Kitchen Trashcan
Trash bags
Tissues

I know some of this stuff seems silly, but I found I needed all of it at some point after I moved in. I’m sure I’ll be moving again and I’d hate to have to rewrite this entire list.

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Swingin’ back slowly

I’ve been back for a couple days and I’m still trying to get used to what is my reality. For one thing, I experienced about a day of loneliness and it was more intense, I think, than how I felt when I first moved out in January. I’m not sure why, but it’s passed now and I’m feeling sort of “normal” again. Also, I haven’t been to the gym yet, and I feel like I’m wasting precious time because I only have 3 weeks before I have to take another week off to go to California. Obviously, I’m looking forward to that trip, but I don’t enjoy feeling disgusting and that is how I’ve felt for about two weeks now. It’s amazing how quickly all the progress I’ve made at the gym can disappear when I’m not in there regularly.

Anyway, I’ve basically been relaxing and slowly unpacking since I got back. I’ve watched a couple movies and about two weeks worth of TiVod stuff and I feel like I’m pretty much caught up. Things at work are going very well and it looks like I have another big project on the horizon. I’m looking forward to a change in the routine and this will give me an opportunity to learn some new skills and work with people I usually don’t see.

Possible topics abound

My time in Florida reminded me of how much I have learned since I moved out here to Texas. I’ve been living alone for about eight months now, and it’s been a great time for me to learn more about myself and figure out what I want out of life and all that. I will probably post more about this later, but this post is mostly designed to keep myself accountable so I will eventually write things down.

Generally, I’ve been having a great time of self-realization and I feel it’s a very important part of my growth as a person. I’m becoming much more comfortable with who I am and where I’m going. Hopefully, I’ll post more about this soon.

Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the changes I experienced in college and it’s becoming clear to me that my experience was more typical than not. What I mean is that the emotions and experiences I had are probably common to most college kids as they move from freshman year to graduation and out into the real world. When I was experiencing them, I thought those emotions were unique, but I’m pretty sure I was experiencing a typical transition from college to actual life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about acting and how serious I really am about it. I’m realizing that I am serious about it and that I don’t want to be an engineer forever. Right now, I’m beyond questioning my commitment and I’m questioning my ability and potential. I have no doubt that I’m taking the correct steps to educate myself and gain experience as an actor, but I am seriously questioning whether I am actually capable of acting well enough to make a good living at it.

I need sleep. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more about each of these topics later.

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Lookin’ up

In my last post, I mentioned I’d tried online poker and hadn’t done so well. After I played those SNGs, I decided to try Low-Limit (or really Micro-Limit) Hold ’em ($.25/.50). I didn’t do so hot at first, but after losing the first couple times I played, I’ve been winning and I should be recovering the bit I lost on the SNGs to begin with.

I’ve decided the SNG strategy was a bad one and I need to stick with Limit Hold ’em for a while. Limit is simpler and will protect me from bad beats more than No Limit or the SNGs would. Obviously, I’m playing super low limits and I hope to move up to $.50/1 in a week or so. Slow and steady…

Fantasy Football a reality?

My buddy called and asked if I wanted to be in a Fantasy Football League and, because I’m stupid, I said I’d do it. We had our draft tonight and I guess my picks were ok, but we won’t know anything until they start playin’ the games. I’m only mildly interested in the NFL, but I’m very interested in college football. Florida’s first game is less than two weeks away and I’m hoping to be there. Anyway, maybe I’ll do alright in Fantasy, but I don’t plan on putting too much work into it.

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Open letter to weight room loiterers

Dear loiterers

I know that working out can be exhausting at times and that we all need to rest and catch our breath, but please do your resting and breath catching somewhere other than on the machine I need to use. Sure, I often do multiple exercises on a few different machines and, no, I don’t expect all those machines to be unused while I’m not on them. But please, if you’re going to use something, just use it and get off of it. You may have three more sets of legs to do, but there’s no need to sit on the leg press machine while you’re getting psyched up for your next set. Go get some water, walk around, talk to someone, so I can get a set in there too.

I know you’re tired, but I’m busy and need to get home at a reasonable hour. It’s tough to do that when I spend an extra twenty minutes or so rearranging my workout to accommodate you as you perch on something I need to use.

Thanks for listening

Josh

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Poker Tourney comin’ up
 
Well, I haven’t played poker since April and that was the first time I’d played since December… so, I figure to get back into the swing of things, what’s better than a tournament with a $50 buy-in?  A friend from work told me about it, so I figured I’d ante up and see how it goes.  Of course, I’ve been reading up to try and refresh my memory and I finally finished Sklanky’s Theory of Poker.  In fact, I picked up his Tournament Poker for Advanced Players the other day and I’ve started into that.  I don’t know if any of it’ll stick in time for the tourney Saturday, but I’m also hoping I don’t forget that a flush beats a straight.  I’m afraid I’ll be pretty rusty and my poker face and reading ability might be a little shaky.
 
Mom’s visiting this weekend
 
My Mom will be in town for an annual conference next week, so I’ll get to see her this weekend.  It’s been a long time since we hung out or spent any quality time together, so I’m looking forward to it.  But, I’m afraid she’ll show up and be bored of my humdrum life in about an hour.  Oh well, she’s always got the conference to anticipate.
 
Not much else going on
 
I haven’t posted in a while ’cause there hasn’t much happenin’ here.  Obviously, I’m gonna’ have an action-packed weekend, but that’ll be the exception to the rule.  Acting is going well and I think we’ve found a comedic monologue to use, so I’ve just been polishing that up and getting it ready to perform.  Doing the monologue in a few venues is the first baby-step toward getting an agent.  Man, this stuff takes a lot of patience.

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Coasting along

Not much new has been happening lately, but I kind of like it that way. I mean, I have a tendency to get bored easily and I’m kind of always after some new challenge, but I also enjoy just layin’ around and doing nothing. In some ways, Peter Gibbons and I have a lot in common.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to find a good comedic monologue for a while now and that is proving pretty difficult. It’s difficult because I don’t know squat about theatre and that seems to be the sort of monologue I need to find right now. Apparently, there’s a local talent showcase (called Exposure) that is well known and frequented by agents, casting directors and the like. My coach says it would be good to appear in the showcase so I can start networking and to get my name out there. It’s a live performance gig, hence the need for a theatrical monologue.

For now, I’m learning a few monologues that he has used in the past. I don’t intend to perform these particular monologues, but I think the exercise of learning them, preparing them and presenting them will help me be more comfortable when I’ve found my own. I have to admit I’m pretty nervous about performing a monologue in front of any sort of live audience, but I’m hoping to fall back on my stage experience as emcee to keep me grounded. Emceeing was a blast and a cakewalk, so hopefully I can sort of “go to that place” when performing a monologue so I’ll remain comfortable.

The early bird…

Is tired most of the stinkin’ day? I’ve been trying to get into work by 7 a few days a week because that really frees up my afternoons. Unfortunately, I’ve found that I often use my free afternoons to catch up on my sleep. Stupid? Of course it is. But I’m trying to get used to the idea that I might not be able to sleep for eight hours each night. I figure if I start auditioning for and booking commercials and such in the Dallas area, I’ll have to start managing my time better. I figure it might be easier to manage my time if I have more to work with. I don’t know if I’ll stick with the 7 am thing, but I am trying tomorrow, so it’s time for me to sign off.