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Coasting along

Not much new has been happening lately, but I kind of like it that way. I mean, I have a tendency to get bored easily and I’m kind of always after some new challenge, but I also enjoy just layin’ around and doing nothing. In some ways, Peter Gibbons and I have a lot in common.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to find a good comedic monologue for a while now and that is proving pretty difficult. It’s difficult because I don’t know squat about theatre and that seems to be the sort of monologue I need to find right now. Apparently, there’s a local talent showcase (called Exposure) that is well known and frequented by agents, casting directors and the like. My coach says it would be good to appear in the showcase so I can start networking and to get my name out there. It’s a live performance gig, hence the need for a theatrical monologue.

For now, I’m learning a few monologues that he has used in the past. I don’t intend to perform these particular monologues, but I think the exercise of learning them, preparing them and presenting them will help me be more comfortable when I’ve found my own. I have to admit I’m pretty nervous about performing a monologue in front of any sort of live audience, but I’m hoping to fall back on my stage experience as emcee to keep me grounded. Emceeing was a blast and a cakewalk, so hopefully I can sort of “go to that place” when performing a monologue so I’ll remain comfortable.

The early bird…

Is tired most of the stinkin’ day? I’ve been trying to get into work by 7 a few days a week because that really frees up my afternoons. Unfortunately, I’ve found that I often use my free afternoons to catch up on my sleep. Stupid? Of course it is. But I’m trying to get used to the idea that I might not be able to sleep for eight hours each night. I figure if I start auditioning for and booking commercials and such in the Dallas area, I’ll have to start managing my time better. I figure it might be easier to manage my time if I have more to work with. I don’t know if I’ll stick with the 7 am thing, but I am trying tomorrow, so it’s time for me to sign off.

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Long but gratifying lesson

My lesson today lasted about 2.5 hours and that’s a long stinkin’ time. The good thing is that the entire lesson was instructive and useful and I feel like I learned a great deal about the two scenes I was working on this week. For next week, I think I’m going to try and find a good monologue from High Fidelity and I’ll work on my business plan. This Sunday, STAGE is having a “Christmas Party” and my instructor is recommending that I go ahead and join. Of course, if he recommends it, I’m in so I’ll see how that goes. Should be a good time and a new experience.

Stupid car

I own a ’98 Pontiac Grand Am SE. It’s a piece of junk and has been since I got it. Today, my “low (coolant) fluid” light came on when I was on my way to my lesson in Ft. Worth. I got it to Ft. Worth and decided I’d fill ‘er up with water after the lesson (I almost brought the DexCool, but decided to leave it at home). Well, after the lesson, I went outside with a little bottle of water only to find a big puddle of coolant next to the curb. Apparently, the car had sprung a leak and wasn’t doing too well. I decided to risk it, fill the reservoir with water and try to make it home. After an hour of staring at the temperature gauge and praying, I found myself in the parking lot of a car repair/maintenance place. The dude that was working (this is 9:30 or so at night and he said they shoulda’ closed about 3 hours ago) took a look and said he couldn’t see much and he’d look at it in the morning. He topped the reservoir off with water and told me where to leave the keys when I drop it off.

First off, I hate my car. Second, the dude at the repair shop should get some sorta’ medal just for taking a minute to look at my car even though he couldn’t see anything. I don’t know how that guy could’ve been there 3 hours after closing and still be willing to say, “Just pull it next to the bay over there, so we can have some light.” Here’s to the nice guy at the repair shop.

No, this post has no point.

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Revelation

It’s no secret (especially here on the ol’ blog) that I want to be a professional actor. What is kind of a secret is why I want to be a professional actor. I mean, it’s clear that I’m not interested in sitting behind a desk, designing stuff for people for the rest of my life. But what about management? Why not be one of the people having others design stuff for him? Or what about a different career path altogether in a different company? I’ve been asking myself these questions for some time now and it wasn’t until today that I found a satisfactory answer.

Acting seems glamorous, but the more I study it, the more I realize that the glamour is only a small part of the equation. There’s also a lot of hard work involved and, of course, the high percentage chance that a lot of rejection could be in my future. I want to be a professional actor, but I want to be a great actor as well. I want to be good at it, not just successful.

That stuff’s been true from day one. But what I didn’t realize until today is this: I want to be an actor because it’s something where my success will depend wholly on my own abilities and effort. Aside from nepotism and the occasional “big break”, acting is a profession that requires hard work, dedication, patience and skill. There are thousands of actors in Dallas, in L.A., in New York who are practically clones of me in every way. They’re my age, my height, my build, my personality, my basic ability. So my odds of success are slim unless I can find an edge. And I aim to make my edge substantial enough to succeed. For now, I’m learning about the business and I’m hoping I can find an edge with my drive and desire. I hope that drive and desire eventually become manifest in talent. And I hope that talent eventually allows me to act professionally.

But what it comes down to is that I want to be responsible for my own success or failure. Yeah, I’ve been careful to knit a strong, taught net to catch me if I fall, but now I’m headed up the ladder to the tight-rope. In a few months, I hope to start edging out on that tight-rope and then I hope to start walking across it on my own. Hopefully, I’ll have the drive, determination, patience and talent to continue walking the rope, but if I happen to fall, I’ve padded the net with my education. But that’s why my education is there: it’s a fallback. And I’ve always intended for it to be that way. I’m not interested in the Grind and I can’t stand monotony. I’m interested in seeing what I’m made of and that’s why acting is so appealing to me.

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Rough week, great weekend

This was a tough week, mostly because I seemed to be constantly doing something. The worst day was Thursday, when I had my acting lesson. It was a great lesson and I learned a lot, but I was totally exhausted and the lesson lasted about two hours. Also, the scene we were working on was about 7 minutes of intense emotion–specifically, my character was angry and distraught–and that’s just a lot of work.

The good news is I’ve had a great weekend so far. I’m playing in a basketball league that begins next week and we had our first team practice today. There are seven guys on our team and I’d only played with two of them before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. Turns out we have a well-rounded, solid team and I expect we’ll be very competitive in our league. This evening, a buddy and I grilled some burgers and watched Master and Commander at my place. It was relaxing and we had a good time just chillin’ and chattin’.

Tomorrow evening, some people are comin’ down to my place so we can all cheer for Detroit in the NBA Finals together. This is a “must win” for both teams, but L.A. seems to have a lot more on the line right now. Of course, based on my previous comments, if Detroit loses either of the next two games, I think they’re going to lose the championship, so maybe this game is just as big for them. Regardless, I hope they stomp the Lakers again… The Lakers are good at winning, but horrible at losing and I take great pleasure in watching them tank a game.

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Working through the words

Last night, I wrote about how tough it’s been working through a couple scenes from Devil’s Advocate. While that’s still true, I feel like I made a lot of progress tonight and I’m feeling much more comfortable with the scene. Heretofore, I hadn’t marked up the copy at all; I had just read through the scene a few times and tried to get a feel for what’s going on. Tonight, I sat down and meticulously marked up the script and that seemed to really open it up for me. One problem I was having had to do with the scene’s length–it’s 11 pages. I kept getting lost in the scene and not being able to find my way through all the words to what was actually happening with the characters and with the movie.

Marking it up allowed me to break it down into sections so I could wrap my mind around what was actually going on. I’ve gotten a much better feel for how my character changes throughout the scene. His objective is always the same, but he realizes that he can’t accomplish it the way he thought; he has to change tactics and methods a few times. So, I’m starting to understand the scene, but now I have to figure out how to take my new understanding and translate it to physical action. That’s where I generally have the most trouble. I have a difficult time taking my understanding of the character and translating that character’s words and actions into my own speech and movement. The trick is portraying the character honestly because the camera will surely catch anything that isn’t honest–a fake move, a staged look, or anything else where I might be “acting”.

Slow and steady…

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Tough scenes

So far, I’ve really been enjoying my learning experience as I work towards being an actor. Usually, I feel challenged and fulfilled as I work through a scene and I get a definite sense of fulfillment after we’ve shot something and critiqued it. This week, I’m working on a couple scenes from The Devil’s Advocate and, so far, I’m very frustrated. The scenes are just difficult and I’m having a tough time connecting to the characters. I still have a few days (which is really a long time) to work on the scenes before we lay them down on Thursday, and I’m sure I’ll make great progress, but right now it’s difficult to tell if I’ll really be able to play the scenes well.

That said, this is why I’m so excited about acting. This is very challenging and it’s been a long time since I had to work on something that I had so much trouble getting through. I love the challenge, I love the analysis, I love trying to learn something I’ve never learned before. This stress, frustration and anxiety is why I want to do something other than engineering for a career. With engineering, this sort of learning curve simply doesn’t exist. I may be challenged, but the assignments I would get as an engineer wouldn’t challenge me personally as acting does.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to grinding out these scenes and seeing what I can do. Right now, my confidence is low and I’m not sure I can play the scenes convincingly… and this is exactly where I need to be. I feel backed into a corner and that means I have nothing to lose. I feel as though I’ll fail and that feeling is only motivating me to give everything I have to try and succeed. I’ll know if I have succeeded at about 7:30 on Thursday evening.

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Lazy weekend

Normally, I’d say a three-day weekend is super and then I’d talk about all the great stuff I did to take advantage of my extra day off. Unfortunately, I didn’t really do anything to take advantage of the extra day off and I wasted most of my weekend sleeping. I guess that’s not all bad–I hadn’t really had the chance to just sleep for no reason in a while–but it would’ve been nice to use the weekend for something productive.

I did play basketball on Saturday, but it was an all around bad experience. I didn’t feel right during the first game and then, about half way through the second game, I started feelin’ dizzy and my chest felt funny. So, I sat the rest of the game and decided I felt better. I played a few more games without any of those symptoms, but I also played at about half speed. I wasn’t really playing to compete, but just to see if my body was trying to tell me I needed to get checked out. After I played a few more games, I kinda’ figured maybe I just got started too fast or I was dehydrated or something. That was the last I heard of the dizziness and such. But then, half way through my last game, I jammed my thumb real good (during a dead ball, no less) and that’s probably going to keep me out of commission for a week or so.

So, I went home and slept and then watched a movie and then slept some more. Sunday was about the same and I slept till 11 this morning. The highlight for the weekend was my acting lesson. During my last lesson, my instructor said he was going to find something where the stakes were very high for me, emotionally. This time, he had a short scene from The Devil’s Advocate, which we cold-read, and a much longer scene that I’ll be working on this week. It was challenging and fun to work on the scene and I really had a chance to think outside the box and try to be present in the scene emotionally. I wasn’t completely satisfied with my performance, but I’m going to work on it this week and hopefully turn it into something good.

Work, work, work… blah, blah, blah

This is the part where I moan about having to get up early and go to work and all that. Mostly, I’m used to it, so it doesn’t bother me much. The thing that concerns me most is that I’ll have trouble getting to sleep tonight… I hope I don’t have any trouble because I don’t have any more Tylenol PM to bail me out.

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Crazy week in Texas

Monday was my last night house-/dog-sitting for a friend. Although I didn’t mind helping him out while he was vacationing, it was really nice to get home where I could sleep in my own bed. I didn’t realize how much I like my apartment until I was displaced from it for a week. I really have made a home here and I’m very comfortable in the environment that I’ve created. It’s cozy and it’s home.

My first movie premier

Tuesday evening, I attended the premier for a local indie film. I have to say it was pretty bad and I was really surprised at the attention that such a low-budget, low-quality film received. I think a lot of it was pure hype by promoters and moneymakers, but in the end, it just wasn’t a good movie. I would give details but it’d be easier to say this: the only redeeming part of the film was the lead actress, but even her performance wasn’t enough to save this movie. It was so bad that, at the end, they were giving away prizes–copies of the DVD, T-shirts, movie posters–but when they called the winning ticket numbers, no one claimed the prizes. There were three or four unclaimed prizes before an older woman and a child claimed some stuff. It was sad and funny at the same time.

Another great session for the acting

Tonight, I was given a cold-read–it was a scene from a local Dallas indie–and I had a reading partner. It was a great experience because I was able to learn a lot about myself, my natural ability, the ability that I’ve gained through my work so far and my ability to interact–listen and react–with another actor. All in all, I was very pleased with my work tonight, but I definitely see much room for improvement. While I’m learning more and more about breaking down a scene and making it into a workable, believable piece, I’m still having some trouble digging into the scene to find the proper motivations for myself and my character. This will come with time, I know, but at least I’m aware of my shortcomings and that’ll give me something to work on.

I just e-mailed my instructor a copy of (what I guess one would call) a treatment that I wrote back in the Summer of ’02. He’s going to look over it and we’ll decide whether there’s anything worth turning into a short film. If there is, we’ll probably start working on it and eventually lay it down on tape. I’m half expecting him to hate it and pan it, but I’m half expecting he’ll find something worth working with. I’ll just have to wait and see.

Busy tomorrow, too

Tomorrow night, I’m going to a friend’s belated birthday party (he and his wife are actually sharing a party and it’s closer to her birthday than his), so I’ll probably be good and exhausted by tomorrow night. I’m not really sure who’s going to be there, but at least I’ll know the happy birthday couple and maybe a few other kids. It should be fun.

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I feel like I’m back in school

This week, I was to find and memorize a new monologue (I part of a scene from Ferris Beuler’s Day Off), continue working on last week’s monologue from Good Will Hunting (it turned out to be almost 4 minutes) and I continued reading How to Get the Part…. So far, this acting thing has been pretty intense and that’s exactly how I was hoping it would be. I feel like I have a lot of free time since I only work till around 4 and it’s good that I have something to fill it. I mean, I would be reading a lot anyway–I’m working through The World According to Garp and a few other books–but it’s nice to be learning a craft. I just hope I continue to improve from week to week.

Another low-sleep Sunday night

I probably got around 3 hours of sleep last night and I don’t have a good reason at all. I was in bed by 12:15 and then I spent the next six hours tossing and turning. I’m sure I got a little sleep, but I could remember looking at the clock at least once an hour during the night and I’m not a light sleeper, so it takes me quite a while to get back to sleep once I wake up. Anyway, I’m going to bed early tonight for sure.

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You’re 97, huh? Well, you have the right to remain silent…

So, an old lady gets pulled over for speeding or something and then they throw ‘er in the slammer because of an outstanding warrant for her arrest. And of course, people are all huffed up about it because “how can you arrest a 97 year old woman?!” Well, my calloused thinking goes like this: If she’s young and alert enough to drive, she’s young and alert enough to pay fines. The bigger issue, though, is “where do you draw the line?” It’s obvious, but I’ll say it anyway: if 97 is too old, what about 96? 95? 80? 70? 60? And then, whenever you say “well, that’s young enough that they could be arrested…”, then I add one year and we go again. The point is that there’s no objective age (on the books) where people are exempt from paying fines and being arrested on outstanding warrants. In order to allow that woman to make her appointment at the beauty salon, the police would’ve had to make a subjective decision to let her go. That’s not law enforcement, it’s bias, and that’s not their job.

Bottom line: I think it’s pretty crazy that such an old woman was arrested, but that’s just a strange example of a statistical outlier. I don’t think the law–at least in this instance–should be subjective to someone’s age. Also, she’d have never been arrested if she’d paid that fine.

Friends: Jennifer Anniston

I’ve been a fan of the show for a few years now, but I can’t say I’ve ever been really sucked in by the acting. Occasionally, something will catch my eye, but I mostly watch for the comedy and story. Tonight, though, I was really impressed by the scene that Anniston did with Schwimmer near the end of the episode. Her energy was right on from the moment she entered the room, slamming the door behind her. I just thought she nailed the scene: she didn’t go over the top with the emotion, but she seemed really honest about her trepidation and frustration. I suspect a lot of that emotion was real emotion that the cast is experiencing as the final episodes are winding down, and I think it’s fantastic that she did such a great job channeling that emotion into her character in that moment. Kudos to Jennifer.